Saturday 6 August 2011

Berryz Koubou - Aa, Yo ga Akeru Review


So, a new Berryz single... ”ああ、夜が明ける”


The video starts off looking at some old house, which I am assuming is Tsunku’s personal brothel where he keeps all the H!P girls. All the girls in the video look like they’re dressed to “receive” Tsunku, if you know what I mean… There’s no other reason why they’re dancing around the house in those outfits. I guess this proves the house is his brothel.

"Tsunku... I've been waiting for you"

In some scenes we see them dancing around in some hall, in others we see them sat around on their own (perhaps they all have their own rooms in the brothel and are just waiting for Tsunku to come by?), and in the other scenes they are sat around on the stairs for some reason.

"Welcome back, Tsunku... We missed you"

The video ends the same way it starts – With a view of the brothel.

Tsunku's Brothel

Now the music…

At first I thought the song was a complete disgrace, but after listening to it multiple times for this review, I don’t think it’s THAT bad… It still disturbs me, just not as much as it did originally.

”つんくさん。。。大きいわねぇ~”

It starts off with some kind of jazzy piano riff. Then a really bad string VST takes over with synth bass and a drum kit that has been EQ’d to HELL and back (who EQ’d this? What does this person have against high frequencies?) - The snare doesn’t even sound like a snare anymore, it’s ridiculous. Even the hats lack the crisp sound found in the upper frequencies… Also, the riff on the shitty string VST is disturbing.

I have no fucking idea what Tsunku was thinking when he did the bass part to this song; this is easily one of the worst synth bass sounds I have ever heard in my entire life. I’m pretty sure it’s just there to make people SICK.

The constant moans of “aah, yeah… aah” in this song serve as empirical evidence to support my argument that the house in this video is some kind of brothel.

What was the director trying to achieve with this shot?

The verse is, as usual with these J-pop songs, very simple; simple chords with simple melody line over the top with lyrics about… *shock* - Love!!!  Nice to see they’re doing something original for this song… After all, only every other Hello! Project song has the same theme.

Listening to the verse is a disturbing experience just because of that fucking synth bass and the ruined drum kit. Also, Tsunku’s disgusting use of call and response with shit synth sounds is almost insulting.

This synth bass is going to haunt me for the rest of my life; it’s like some obnoxious asshole who goes around trying to be the centre of attention while pissing everyone off in the process.

"What the fuck am I watching?"

The 2nd part of the verse has some serious reverb spamming. The rhythmic interest in this part is actually not bad though - that’s the verses only plus point - but the obnoxious synth bass plays a disgusting bass line with that disgraceful sound which ruins it.

The bridge makes me sick… The descending vocal line with a syncopated rhythm is weak. The plus point for this bit is that the fucking synth bass isn’t too bad here! It’s less obnoxious here than in the verses and chorus.

What the hell is going on in the second part of the bridge!? It’s some kind of weird reverse cymbal sound spam. I’d love to know what that jackass (Tsunku) was trying to do here… That reverse cymbal spam attack comes out of NOWHERE and tries to ruin your ears. For some reason, it’s only there for a few seconds and then goes away again. Maybe Tsunku got bored in the studio so he randomly put in some sounds?  I think it tries to outdo the fucking synth bass, but gives up when it realises it’s impossible to be more obnoxious than that disaster of a bass – The cymbal plays for a few seconds, then the fucking synth bass comes back and pisses everyone off again.

"Take my hand and we'll make it I swear"

The chorus is by far the best part of the song, but unfortunately that fucking synth bass is still being obnoxious – “Stop paying attention to those sluts and listen to me! I’m more important!”. The melody line of the chorus is nice and catchy, as it should be in a pop song chorus. I really wish that fucking synth bass wasn’t in the chorus because it completely ruins it. The rhythm of the vocal line is good as well – Sure, it’s nothing original, but it works and that’s the most important thing for a pop song. The chorus could also be nicer with a bit more high-end on the snare and hats, but unfortunately whoever EQ’d the drums holds a bitter grudge against frequencies higher than 1k.

Then the song repeats the shitty string vst section from the intro and then we get another verse, bridge and chorus.

After that repeat, it builds into a really shitty synth solo with the girls moaning over the top of it. Just before the solo starts we get some girl’s best owl impersonation “oo oo oo oo oo oo”, for some reason (it may be her “best” impersonation, but it still fails).

"Oo...Oo...Oo...Oo"

After the solo we get the highlight of the song. It’s another chorus, but this time without that fucking synth bass pissing everyone off (it’s still there, just not trying to piss everyone off this time) and without the drums disturbing me. Unfortunately, this doesn’t last long and it quickly goes back into the normal chorus with the fucking synth bass.

It ends with the shitty string VST intro section, and then has some synth chords to finish up with.

It’s the fucking synth bass that really ruins this song for me; it stands out everywhere and just makes a ridiculous noise. I like the chorus melody and rhythm though, but that’s pretty much the only good bit (a good bit which is ruined by an outrageous bass). I don’t have any real issues with the video; it’s just them in a brothel dancing or sitting around singing. The only other thing to comment on is the line distribution; it seems to be done pretty well in this song, I thought (usually you see one girl with most of the lines and the rest just sit around in the background).

A typical night at the brothel

I give this:

4/10

The fucking synth bass is what really lowers the score right down. The chorus cannot bring the score up, because the bass pisses everyone off in this section too, but it does save the score from going down to a 3.

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Saturday 6 August 2011

Berryz Koubou - Aa, Yo ga Akeru Review


So, a new Berryz single... ”ああ、夜が明ける”


The video starts off looking at some old house, which I am assuming is Tsunku’s personal brothel where he keeps all the H!P girls. All the girls in the video look like they’re dressed to “receive” Tsunku, if you know what I mean… There’s no other reason why they’re dancing around the house in those outfits. I guess this proves the house is his brothel.

"Tsunku... I've been waiting for you"

In some scenes we see them dancing around in some hall, in others we see them sat around on their own (perhaps they all have their own rooms in the brothel and are just waiting for Tsunku to come by?), and in the other scenes they are sat around on the stairs for some reason.

"Welcome back, Tsunku... We missed you"

The video ends the same way it starts – With a view of the brothel.

Tsunku's Brothel

Now the music…

At first I thought the song was a complete disgrace, but after listening to it multiple times for this review, I don’t think it’s THAT bad… It still disturbs me, just not as much as it did originally.

”つんくさん。。。大きいわねぇ~”

It starts off with some kind of jazzy piano riff. Then a really bad string VST takes over with synth bass and a drum kit that has been EQ’d to HELL and back (who EQ’d this? What does this person have against high frequencies?) - The snare doesn’t even sound like a snare anymore, it’s ridiculous. Even the hats lack the crisp sound found in the upper frequencies… Also, the riff on the shitty string VST is disturbing.

I have no fucking idea what Tsunku was thinking when he did the bass part to this song; this is easily one of the worst synth bass sounds I have ever heard in my entire life. I’m pretty sure it’s just there to make people SICK.

The constant moans of “aah, yeah… aah” in this song serve as empirical evidence to support my argument that the house in this video is some kind of brothel.

What was the director trying to achieve with this shot?

The verse is, as usual with these J-pop songs, very simple; simple chords with simple melody line over the top with lyrics about… *shock* - Love!!!  Nice to see they’re doing something original for this song… After all, only every other Hello! Project song has the same theme.

Listening to the verse is a disturbing experience just because of that fucking synth bass and the ruined drum kit. Also, Tsunku’s disgusting use of call and response with shit synth sounds is almost insulting.

This synth bass is going to haunt me for the rest of my life; it’s like some obnoxious asshole who goes around trying to be the centre of attention while pissing everyone off in the process.

"What the fuck am I watching?"

The 2nd part of the verse has some serious reverb spamming. The rhythmic interest in this part is actually not bad though - that’s the verses only plus point - but the obnoxious synth bass plays a disgusting bass line with that disgraceful sound which ruins it.

The bridge makes me sick… The descending vocal line with a syncopated rhythm is weak. The plus point for this bit is that the fucking synth bass isn’t too bad here! It’s less obnoxious here than in the verses and chorus.

What the hell is going on in the second part of the bridge!? It’s some kind of weird reverse cymbal sound spam. I’d love to know what that jackass (Tsunku) was trying to do here… That reverse cymbal spam attack comes out of NOWHERE and tries to ruin your ears. For some reason, it’s only there for a few seconds and then goes away again. Maybe Tsunku got bored in the studio so he randomly put in some sounds?  I think it tries to outdo the fucking synth bass, but gives up when it realises it’s impossible to be more obnoxious than that disaster of a bass – The cymbal plays for a few seconds, then the fucking synth bass comes back and pisses everyone off again.

"Take my hand and we'll make it I swear"

The chorus is by far the best part of the song, but unfortunately that fucking synth bass is still being obnoxious – “Stop paying attention to those sluts and listen to me! I’m more important!”. The melody line of the chorus is nice and catchy, as it should be in a pop song chorus. I really wish that fucking synth bass wasn’t in the chorus because it completely ruins it. The rhythm of the vocal line is good as well – Sure, it’s nothing original, but it works and that’s the most important thing for a pop song. The chorus could also be nicer with a bit more high-end on the snare and hats, but unfortunately whoever EQ’d the drums holds a bitter grudge against frequencies higher than 1k.

Then the song repeats the shitty string vst section from the intro and then we get another verse, bridge and chorus.

After that repeat, it builds into a really shitty synth solo with the girls moaning over the top of it. Just before the solo starts we get some girl’s best owl impersonation “oo oo oo oo oo oo”, for some reason (it may be her “best” impersonation, but it still fails).

"Oo...Oo...Oo...Oo"

After the solo we get the highlight of the song. It’s another chorus, but this time without that fucking synth bass pissing everyone off (it’s still there, just not trying to piss everyone off this time) and without the drums disturbing me. Unfortunately, this doesn’t last long and it quickly goes back into the normal chorus with the fucking synth bass.

It ends with the shitty string VST intro section, and then has some synth chords to finish up with.

It’s the fucking synth bass that really ruins this song for me; it stands out everywhere and just makes a ridiculous noise. I like the chorus melody and rhythm though, but that’s pretty much the only good bit (a good bit which is ruined by an outrageous bass). I don’t have any real issues with the video; it’s just them in a brothel dancing or sitting around singing. The only other thing to comment on is the line distribution; it seems to be done pretty well in this song, I thought (usually you see one girl with most of the lines and the rest just sit around in the background).

A typical night at the brothel

I give this:

4/10

The fucking synth bass is what really lowers the score right down. The chorus cannot bring the score up, because the bass pisses everyone off in this section too, but it does save the score from going down to a 3.

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